Hi, today's post is a little all over the place - a bit of a life update, a bit of telling you my deepest thoughts (jk) but this posts feels quite personal and probably shows who I am when I'm not trying to be anything or impress anyone and just shows me talking about the little things I like that I haven't gotten to say aloud because I assume no one around me is that interested lol. But if you are, keep reading. :)
music
I started listening to Lana del ray in summer (I'm late I know) but the music speaks for itself and I am obsessed. My favourites right now are 'let the light in' and 'cinnamon girl', they've been playing nonstop this week. I also really like 'cool about it' by Boy genius and basically all music in that slow sad genre. I felt a little introspective (as usual) and tried to think about why I love listening to sad music - even when I'm not sad - some of my thoughts were:
When looking at those options they probably all culminate together into why I love sad music but I think mostly the #3 is a big reason. I have realised that I'm extremely empathetic, and not in a virtuous give to charity way, but more in an obsessed with emotions and deep raw feelings kinda way. So when I experience media related to that I am strongly affected by it (think crying for hours after finishing the FICTIONAL book A Little Life). I know majority of people were affected by this book but my larger point is I think a lot of people like me crave emotions too often and it can lead to self sabotaging tendencies, never accepting when life is mundane and always wanting some drama just to feel something. anyway was just thinking about that a little.
faye webster
Faye webster is my first and only favourite artist, I say this because usually I only listen to the popular songs of an artist and never explore their discography but for some reason I actually chose to with her. I think it's because I listened to 'Kingston' and 'In a Good Way' and haven't looked back since. The even better news is that she's coming to my city!! and I get to see her in concert anddd the tickets were only £23.50! guys is this not a dream come true? the only con is that I think it's during exam season but that is way less important. Honestly I am just so happy I get to see her and hear her beautiful songs In person hehe.
movies
I went to see the SAW movie with some potential friends (at the time) because I thought it was a good idea to go out of my comfort zone and be social but the problem is SAW is a horror franchise and not just horror but gore, so you would all probably expect what to me was the most shockingly disgusting movie ever. The sounds, the blood... the organs. If you're on the fence about seeing the movie I would say not to see it (but obviously don't listen to me since I'm just not a horror fan, and surprinsgly I've heard some horror enthusiasts think it's the best SAW movie to date... but how good can that really be.
studying biology
we are quite a few weeks into school and I've attended all my lectures and taken notes (even though I'm a little behind on reading hehe) but the temptation to skip those 9ams is soo strong but I don't want to get comfortable with not attending my lectures since that it what I am paying for. I was thinking that I should only let myself skip if I get sick or maybe if I desperately need to stay at home for a mental health day, but I just I will be kind to myself and know when to push.
update: I skipped a lecture. In my defence I am starting to get sick/ getting over being sick I'm not quite sure it's a bit of a weird illness, but alas I woke up on Friday and still had a sore throat so I decided to miss my 9am. Honestly, I am feeling quite guilty and lazy about it because I wanted to have a streak of never missing anything, but I also need to remember when to stop my perfectionist mindset taking over and accept that even if I wasn't on my deathbed, it's still okay that I missed the lecture.
That is all for this update but I just want to thank you for taking the time to read, it is really appreciated.