Glorious summer...?

hellooo, this is a fun light hearted-ish post about my time visiting my friend last week because I know that she would like if this existed, even though I won't show her. This post will be a recap basically of the trip, how I felt, the good and the bad because its my post so I can say what I want haha.

Thursday

so on Thursday I finished work at 4 and thankfully my amazing beautiful mum picked me up so I could get changed at home in time and just grab the last things I need. The time flew by and all of the sudden I'm at the train station waiting on the platform. The weather was so nice, it was only 6pm so still warm and sunny out. I was kind of dreading the train ride because I was so excited to see her so I just wanted to be there, but after wasting time on instagram and listening to music, the train ride was over and I was there! 

When I saw her I was so happy and it felt weird but also not at all because I only saw her 6 weeks before then. We got back into the swing of things immediately and were just talking about whatever and being great friends. the bus ride to her house was disgusting, since it was so warm so many people stank and because it started raining it was humid too. terrible combo!

When we got to her house her sisters were there, I was so nervous about meeting them because I'm quite awkward and kind of clam up when I first meet someone. I walked into the room andddd it was awkward, just as I expected. My friend sat on the other couch with her oldest sister so I sat on the one with her twin, I liked the casualness of us being on different couches but also hated it because she was so far away so I knew I'd be shy. They were watching blackkklansman which I watched the week before and it's not a very chatty movie, but also made me more comfortable because I had seen it twice before so I knew the vibe already. But there's nothing else to say really about day 1 tho, it was kinda a fail but was also a warm up.

Friday

new dawn, new day!! Friday was fun. I woke up on the bottom bunk and was super comfortable and happy because we still had so much time ahead of us. After rotting in bed for a bit, we decided to make breakfast, scrambled eggs and toast, as usual. We ate it in the garden and she talked about work. The eggs tasted like chicken which was crazy but they were also so salty and delicious so it was a bit love hate for me. 

we got ready and decided to go to town, by now it was 3pm because we were in no rush. I've noticed I get super anxious on these buses but it was so busy it's gross, I just become on edge and can't wait until we get off. Anyway, when we got to town we shopped util we dropped and spent so much money on so few things. I bought my friend a ring because she wanted it and I hope she actually likes it and doesn't feel obliged to like it since I bought it. I also bought some cute earrings for my holiday and a cute summer dress too. 

We left town around 7 and got home an hour after. Time for dinner! My friend made her signature salmon, with potatoes and veg with help from her sister. I did not help at all but in honesty, I don't like doing stuff in people's houses unless everything I need is already laid out because people get so finicky and judgy about things and I truly do not care enough. My friend left the room a few times and I felt like she was dropping me in the deep end but whatever, me and the older sister chatted and it was chill. When the older sister left, my friend said she was proud of me for talking. I appreciated it at the time and knew it was probably a half joke but now, a week later, when I think about it I'm a bit offended because I'm not socially inept, please 🙄.

Whilst we were eating we watched 2 episodes of pop the ballon or find love™️, so great, so funny, I was really letting my personality shine and we were all making jokes the whole time and it was just fun. I love that damn show.

Saturday

Saturday was fun because it was a bit of a wind down but we also still had 2 days left. We went on a walk with her older sister and that lasted a few hours. it was chill but I also hate walking for too long and my friend was starving me because she didn't make us any breakfast. We ate fish and chips as a late lunch, it was delish! and I got Krispy cremes which was a nice treat. At around 8pm we walked to Tesco to buy alcohol because I wanted to drink, can you blame me!! I just thought it would be fun!!

They cleaned the kitchen and I was patiently waiting until we could drink. And when we finally did, I got drunk in basically 15 minutes and the drama began, jk. We listened to music, played a bit of uno and heads up but that didn't last long. I honestly don't know what happened but my friend wasn't feeling the best, which I felt bad about, but mostly we just sang along to different music and chilled. I got a bit bored so I was looking up questions... and that was my mistake. I've looked up questions before with her and clearly she didn't like it and when I was doing it this time I think she felt a bit weird about it. I wanted to ask her sister our first impressions to hopefully shed that layer of awkward clunkiness. I showed my friend a list of questions to see if they were okay and she kinda called me out. We argued a bit because I didn't like being called out by her and that she didn't trust me to be chill, honestly we probably need to talk about it more. I think it kinda messed up her night, it made my night a little worse because I felt too self aware and guilty... but the night went on and eventually we went to bed.

Sunday

Sunday morning we talked about the argument surprisingly, I was super anxious when we were talking and it was physically manifesting in me tapping the bed frame haha. It was a good conversation and I think I was able to say why I felt a way about it but I think the core problem is a bit deeper and is probably related to some power dynamics in our friendship, terrible stuff. Once we were done talking about this we ate breakfast and sat on the couch and didn't move for 6 hours. We spent the day watching different shows and we also started watching The Boys and it literally changed my life, it's not even been a full week since we started and i've already finished season 3. Anyway at around 6 we got ready for us all to go to the station, the train was at 9 but he had to get there with enough time as to not stress. That day flew by unsurprisingly and I spent the whole time watching the hours slipping through my fingers.

When i was on the train home i was feeling sad. I think it was because of our argument, or maybe it was just because i was leaving. I just wanted to be in control for once and not be feeling guilty all the time and like things are in others' hands. 

I got home and was still sad for a few days but i unironically unpacked it with chat gpt (which said we should talk about things) and i am trying to chill out a bit and be less toxic.

Overall it was an amazing trip and i wish i became a lodger or just started squatting. If you're reading this, thank you so much for having me and you are a lovely, lovely friend.

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