it has been two months since I last even looked at this blog, and that's for many reasons but it's funny how I always come back. life update!! I have got a job. that's literally the only significant thing that has happened to me and it's honestly the only thing I do, that and instagram reels. but I like being busy because there's less time for me to think and ruminate and come up with silly little ideas. im feeling good (touch wood) and I've been listening to good music, and I kind of want to cry writing this and I don't knwow if its tears of sadness or joy. I think im feeling content? and listening to sweet music? so maybe its just tears of being happy to be alive (even if being alive doesn't mean im happy all the time). I feel a lot more secure in comparison to honestly every other post of mine. I'm just happy to be here writing my silly post talking about my silly life and it's all just so insignificant. something maybe significant? I have a little crush... hehehe. I think its one of my pretend crushes but I also think he's sexy hotttt (not in a looks way) but his energy, and the way he talks to me. I know he's flirting and im crazy, usually, but come one. he's actually a bit of a dick but he talks to me so sweet, so meak (but its fake yk) like condescending shy tone of voice. is that contradictory? talking like he's holding in a smile but the next minute smirking a little. im sick writing this I just can't help myself. I was going to write maybe it's a real crush since I feel all this but I know myself and I can go crazyyyyy ove the littlest thing. like him saying " thanks Danielle your'e the best" and standing so close to me for no reasonnn. because I know he's not being serious and kinda making fun of me but like come onnnn. not me smiling in my dark room. okay I need stop before I get obsessed but I also won't get obsessed because I see him like once a week, but he can driveeeee AND he is fucking studying biology at uni! bruh he WANTS me. not me getting myself excited and honestly this would probably be a good time of me to be introspective and not repeat patterns that I have done oh so many times but right now it feels like just a crush, not an obsession! just a crush! like everyone gets. why can't I have crushes? why do I have to regulate EVERYTHINGGGG, that's so boring. im gonna stick to my crush (lets see what happens in a month :?)
I would write more about myself but I have nothing! I do nothing. oh yeah I firmed my uni for philosophy next year so im so excited! (maybe there is some regret about making the wrong choice but maybe I will meet the love of my life, and then I will say it was all worth it wasn't it 🙄)